For months, 16 to be exact, I've been hurtling, drowning, bobbing along in the ebb and flow of an ocean of grief. My head knows where you are, love of my eternity, but the very core of my physical being doesn't. My spirit rejoices that you are whole but at the same time, my cellular structure screams "where are you?". The French do not say "I am missing you", they say "You are missing from me". I've felt that, every breath, every heart beat, every second of my life from the moment yours stopped.
How do I live ?
I am existing, but how do I live ? Living means joy, living means doing things without you, living means years ahead without you physically by my side, living means laughing without yours mingling with mine, living means letting go of our life together here on earth. And I don't want to do that.
I know I chose this, I know we chose this together. I know this will be a second in our eternity together but now ...
now I'm lost.
